Order #SN-88213. Placed at 11:47pm on a Tuesday, which is never a good sign.
11:47pm — Checkout.
Cart total: $34.60. I did not need any of this. I have plenty of joggers. That is not the point.
Next morning, 8:02am — “Your order is being prepared.”
I already forgot what I bought. This happens every time. The 11pm version of me makes decisions the 8am version of me has to live with.
Day 3, 6:14pm — “Package has left the facility.”
I checked the tracking page four times between dinner and bed, like refreshing it faster would move the package physically closer to my apartment.
Day 6 — “Out for delivery.”
I worked from the kitchen table all day so I wouldn’t miss it — a level of anticipation usually reserved for actual good news, not a $34.60 order I clicked “place order” on half-asleep.
Day 6, 4:50pm — It arrived.
Here’s what was actually in the box: the joggers I went in for, marked down about 50% off, which are, annoyingly, better than the pair I already owned. A lounge set I don’t remember adding — pale gray, soft enough that I wore it to bed that same night. And one bralette I have genuinely no memory of clicking on, which is either proof that free-shipping thresholds are a form of mind control, or that I have a problem. Possibly both.
Small detail that made me laugh: the link redirected me to what I’m pretty sure was the Spanish-language version of the store — everything priced in euros, half the banners in Spanish — because apparently wherever this particular storefront routes you, that’s where you land. I checked out anyway. The joggers didn’t care what currency they were priced in.
If you want the actual joggers — the marked-down pair, not the mystery bralette — that’s the link I used. (Heads up: it’s an affiliate link — I get a small commission if you shop through it, no extra cost to you.) Free shipping kicked in once I crossed the €29 mark, which is also, coincidentally, right around where I stopped being able to justify any of my decisions.
I’m not saying add two things you don’t remember choosing. I’m saying it happened to me and the lounge set turned out fine.