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Equipment Briefing for My Brother’s First Office Job: One Backpack Issued, One Phone Case Denied
Classification: sibling eyes only. Issued Friday night at my kitchen table, after I made him tip the gym bag out onto the floor. That’s the photo. He could identify about […]
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Fact-Check: Does the $295 Pink APL Riviera Really Send $59 to Breast Cancer Research? 9 Claims, Rated.
Before this blog, I spent five years as a fact-checker at a city magazine in Sacramento. The job was calling people back to ask whether they really said the thing […]
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Exit Interview: My Old Running Shoes Quit and Filed a Complaint About Their Heels
Employee: Grey mesh running shoes, women’s 8. No name. I never named them, which came up. Position: Daily running shoe (2023–2024). Reassigned to “errands and grocery runs” (2024–present). Reason for […]
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Tasting Notes: A Flight of Five Dsquared2 Caps, All Poured at £80
My brother-in-law does wine tastings. He swirls, he sniffs, he says things like “a little closed on the nose” about a £12 bottle, and everyone nods. I have never once […]
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Obituary: The Free Conference Tote That Carried Everything and Found Nothing (2019–2026)
DENVER TOTE, CANVAS, “INNOVATE 2019.” Passed away Tuesday evening on the 15 bus, when the left handle gave out somewhere between the pharmacy and my stop. It was about seven […]
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I Wrote Dating Profiles for Three New Boots. Only One Got a Second Date.
My friend Priya says I treat boot shopping like dating: I open fourteen tabs, get attached to one on day two, find a reason it won’t work, and go back […]
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A Field Guide to the TechLoom Zipline, as Observed in One Apartment Hallway
My dad keeps a bird field guide by the kitchen window with pencil ticks next to every species he’s spotted. I’ve inherited absolutely none of his patience, but I did […]
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3.5 Stars: Reviews of the One Bag I Have Used Every Single Day for a Year
3.5 stars · 41 reviews · “the one bag” I don’t normally review a tote like it’s a restaurant, but this bag has been open for business, every single day, […]
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Product Registration Card: Please List All Ways You Have Used These Boots to Avoid Doing Cardio
PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARD — please complete and keep for your records (I did not keep mine, hence this post) Item: One pair of Italian leather boots, Mimmu, purchased during the […]
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Live Call: The 43-Second Sprint That Justified an Entire Shoe Purchase
[LIVE, unedited commentary, recorded via voice memo while sprinting for the 7:52, transcribed later out of morbid curiosity] And she’s out the door — no jacket, bag half-zipped, this is […]