We’ve been together six years and have never once agreed on a Halloween costume. This year I saw a matching couples’ outfit on Rosegal covered in pumpkins, bats, spider webs and a moon, marked down to $42.99 from $62.99, and I knew that if we didn’t put something in writing, it would end the way 2023 ended. (He was a “tired vampire.” It was just his work clothes.)
So we drafted an agreement. It’s binding in the sense that I printed it.
MATCHING OUTFIT AGREEMENT
Entered into on the couch, between Party A (me) and Party B (him, who asked if this was “a bit”). It is not a bit.
Article 1: The Outfit
1.1 The parties agree to purchase one (1) matching set for two. Candidates under review, all in Rosegal’s Halloween section right now:
- (a) Pumpkin Bat Spider Web Moon print, $42.99. Party A’s first choice. It’s in their best sellers on the homepage, which Party A considers “social proof.”
- (b) Skull Skeleton Lovers Rose Flower print, $47.99. Party B’s pick, because “skulls are less cute.” Noted.
- (c) Pumpkin Colorblock print, $40.99. The compromise nobody wanted and both could live with.
1.2 Most of the couples’ sets come in plus sizes. Party A would like it on the record that this was a factor, and that it’s been a factor for every couples’ costume search since 2019.
Article 2: Wearing Obligations
2.1 Party B agrees to wear the outfit for the full duration of the party, defined as “until the snacks are gone,” not “until someone else shows up in a better costume.”
2.2 Party B may not describe the outfit to others as “her idea.” It is a joint venture.
2.3 Party A agrees not to post more than four (4) photos. Party A’s lawyer (Party A) notes that stories don’t count.
Article 3: Solo Assets
3.1 Each party may acquire one individual accessory without consulting the other. Party A has already claimed the Skeleton Print Asymmetric Cape Cloak ($24.99). Party B is “thinking about” the Galaxy Print Witches Hat ($25.99), which is, and I say this lovingly, not his to think about.
Article 4: Budget
4.1 Total spend shall not exceed what one (1) of us spent on a single store-bought costume in 2022. Set (a) plus the cape comes in under $70, which clears that bar by a lot.
4.2 If there’s money left, it goes to the “ALL UNDER $9.99” clearance section, because Party A has never once left that page empty-handed and isn’t starting now.
4.3 Rosegal also gives free points for signing in daily. Party B will be responsible for remembering. Party B will not remember.
Article 5: Dispute Resolution
5.1 Any disagreement will be settled by our friend Dana, who is always the neutral third party and always wrong.
Signed: Party A, in pen. Party B, in pen, after asking if pencil was OK.
If you’d like to draft your own agreement, Rosegal’s Halloween section is here. It’s an affiliate link, so I earn a small commission if you buy, at no extra cost to you.
We went with (a). He looks great. He won’t admit it.