For seven years I wrote phone menus for a health insurance company in Tucson. “Para español, oprima dos.” “If you are calling about a claim, press 3.” That was me. I know exactly how much you hate it. I wrote this one anyway.
Luis and I fly to Maui on January 21 for our fifteenth anniversary. He has wanted matching Hawaiian outfits since our honeymoon, when I said no. I am now saying yes, in October, which has generated a number of questions from him, my sister, and my coworkers.
Rather than answer them one at a time, I recorded a menu.
Thank you for calling the Matching Hawaii Outfit Line.
Your call is important to us. Please listen carefully, as our options have changed. (They haven’t. I just always wanted to say that.)
For “why are you buying beach clothes in October,” press 1.
For sizing, press 2.
For “will it get here,” press 3.
For returns, press 4. You won’t like option 4.
For the price, press 5.
To speak to my husband, press 0.
You pressed 1. “Why are you buying beach clothes in October?”
Because Rosegal’s homepage right now is wall-to-wall matching Hawaii couple sets. There are dozens of them on the front page alone. Their best seller block is almost all coconut trees and hibiscus, with one lonely Halloween pumpkin set in the middle. Everyone else on the internet is shopping for sweaters. The beach stuff is just sitting there.
The one we picked is the Coconut Tree Cloud Print set. It’s a strappy knee-length dress with crisscross lattice straps for me, and a short-sleeve button shirt with a front pocket for him. Little coconut trees, puffy clouds. Luis said it looks like “a postcard from the airport gift shop,” which in his language is a compliment.
To return to the main menu, press star.
You pressed 2. Sizing.
Please have your measurements ready.
First, their sizes are not your sizes. Rosegal’s own size chart on the homepage says S is a US 8, M is a 10, L is a 12, 1X is US 14 to 16, 2X is 18 to 20, 3X is 22 to 24, all the way to 5X at US 30 to 32. If you walk in thinking “I’m a medium,” you are going to order the wrong thing. I wear a US 20. That makes me a 2X here, not an XL. The dress goes from XXS up to 6X, which is not something I get to say often.
Second, the two pieces behave differently, and the product page tells you so if you read the small notes:
- The dress is polyester and spandex, listed as “High Stretch.” Their note says if you’re between two sizes, the smaller one may be better.
- The shirt is also polyester and spandex, but listed as “No Stretch.” Their note for men’s shirts says if he’s between sizes, go larger.
So I am sizing down and Luis is sizing up, in the same outfit. He goes from his usual 2XL to 3XL. The shirt runs S through 6XL. He was offended for about ten seconds and then said “fine, more room for the buffet.”
To repeat this information, press 2. You’ll need it.
You pressed 3. “Will it get here?”
Yes. This is the one question where October is on your side.
Their shipping page says most orders ship out within 24 hours, with some taking 3 to 5 business days depending on stock. Then, for the US:
- Standard: 15 to 18 business days. Free over $69. Under that, it’s $4.99 to $8.99 depending on the total.
- Expedited: 3 to 8 business days. $24.99 under $79, $20.99 from $79 to $108.99, $7.99 from $109 to $168.99, free over $169.
Standard from today puts it somewhere around the second week of November. We leave January 21. I could order it with Standard and still have two months of slack. Do not pay for Expedited for a January trip. I’m begging you. I wrote phone menus. I know what you’re about to do.
You pressed 4. Returns. I did warn you.
The banner on their homepage says “Return policy within 30 days.” That’s true for some things. Here is the fine print, in plain language:
- Returns are within 30 days of receiving, unwashed, unworn, unused.
- The product page says they don’t accept returns on intimates, swimwear, lingerie, beauty items, or discounted items. Their full Warranty and Returns page lists “Sale” as non-returnable too.
- This set is marked 22% off. So I’m assuming that once it’s ordered, it’s ours.
- Even for returnable things, you can’t just mail it back right now. Their page says direct returns are unavailable because of a return warehouse issue, and you have to open a ticket with their Support Center and get an RMA form first.
This is why option 2 exists. Measure yourself. With a tape, not with hope.
If you are calling about something that doesn’t fit, I’m sorry, please hold for the rest of your life.
You pressed 5. The price.
The Coconut Tree Cloud set is $51.99 on the product page, marked down from $66.99. Heads up: when I first opened the homepage the tile for the same set said $48.99, so the price is moving around. Check it in your bag, not on the tile.
One set is under the $69 free shipping line, so Standard shipping would be $5.99 on top. The product page also shows a “Buy 1 Get 1 40% Off” deal on eligible items. My sister wants the same set in a different color for her and her wife (they’re coming for the second week). If the deal applies the way the banner says, two sets come out to roughly $83 and clear free shipping easily. I haven’t run that through checkout yet, so I’m not promising the number. New members also get a coupon pack the homepage calls “$110 off in total,” which is the kind of phrase I would have been asked to put in a phone menu, so I’m reading the fine print on that one before I believe it.
You pressed 0. Please hold for my husband.
Hold music: ukulele, but sad.
Luis: “I have wanted this since 2011. I don’t need to hear about the stretch. I just need to know if the shirt has a pocket.”
It has a pocket.
Luis: “Then we’re done here.”
This call may be recorded for quality purposes.
If you want to place your own order, here’s the Coconut Tree Cloud couple set on Rosegal. If coconut trees aren’t your thing, the rest are in their matching Hawaiian outfits section. Hibiscus, ombre sunsets, and one with skulls and paint splatter, which Luis tried to make happen. It did not happen.
The photo up top is a rack of tropical shirts I found on a stock site, not our order. Ours is coming in November. I’ll be the one in the strappy dress, sized down. He’ll be the one in the 3XL, holding a pocket full of sunscreen.
Thank you for calling. Goodbye.
Disclosure: those are affiliate links. If you buy through them I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Prices, sizes, materials, shipping times and costs, deals and return terms are as I saw them on Rosegal on October 15, 2026. I haven’t tested the Buy 1 Get 1 deal or the new member coupons at checkout, and the price on this set changed while I was looking, so check your bag before you pay.